Russ is fucking attached after he said he can't commit to me.But i guessed ,sad to say he made a right decesion a wise one for once.It'll be dumb to date a girl u dated before and still not hurt her again when ur only 19 years of age.I sincerely hope Mel woon't hurt him.I really hope they'll last.His decision made me more eager to move on in life.Holding on to the past just proves to be hopeless and meaningless.Thus,on friday early morning.I threw that horrid box the one that holds the first cigarette we smoked together,The presents i got but nv been able to give,his picture.I didn't throw his presents cuz i still treat him like a friend.I treasure our friendship.However i'm i dun think and dun ever want to look back.Dwelling on it just brings pain thats not necessary.
In this process of moving on i found a new like.A guy that i would never imagined to fall for.A malay(no offence) against them cuz my parents alws made fun of me.He flirty,difficult to comprehend seem to me a bit introvert and secrective.But i love his stupidity,his guts to be positive and happy.I love his voice although his a bit tone deaf(i'm a real big sucker for voice).He appreciates dance ,the arts.He watches cartoons and still not mind horror movie.Andy i liked cuz he reminded me of russ.His the first guy in such a long run who never reminded me of russ.However he's to hard to grasp i do not know what he is what made him the person he is and what he truly thinks.I just want to be his friend for know.
I'm getting more and more open to people i should start building walls and not let pple know abt my past!
